Hell If I Knew
by MrsEmmaClearwater
Summary: "Green light, red light!" Sage shouted quickly, making Collin tumble forward. "Hey!" he protested loudly, trying to glare at Sage - yet epically failing. "That's not fair!" he yelled. "So is." Sage replied childishly while sticking her tongue out. wolf/OC


Author Notes-

**Charlotte: **Hey everyone! For those who don't know me - which means a very big fraction of you - I'm Charlotte, preferably Lotti, from ImDaMnShOrTaNdPrOuD and/or CranberryGumDrop. I'm here to help co-write/re-write MrsEmmaClearwater's original story "Hell If I Knew". Which means, adding different scenes, events, changing around a few things - adding people, changing their names, ect. All of which was Emma's (MrsEmmaClearwater) idea. So…I'm just a small puppet that's writing Sage's (originally Alein) point of view and her parts of the conversations. Then a few other characters you'll soon get to know later on.

**Emma: **I haven't been on fanfiction for…oh, some time now. But here I am! So no worries there. Just wanted to say that my story was shit and now I'm going to make it into colorful shit! Go rainbows:P Then yes, characters are changed and such. And I decided - since I liked Charlotte's style of writing - that I'd have her co-write with me. Freaking brilliant idea, right? Well…I thought so. So I guess it is pretty dang brilliant:P Chow.

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**Chapter one: **A gooey center

Jeanette's point of view

"The guys here are…hott." Sage whispered giddily, her hands flailing about as she tried to describe their defined 8 packs, their amazing rained on sun kissed skin, and their smexy, smoldering eyes. Which wouldn't be as bad with the images I was getting, but when you listen to her rant more than a few hours, you just want to shove her out of the moving car and punch it.

Should've done that on the free way, and I'm going to be completely honest when I say that I regret not doing exactly that. With her fishnets, short shorts, and tank top - she'd get a ride to Forks easily. Maybe get raped along the way…but she'd definitely get a ride.

"Oh God! Shut the fuck up!" I screamed angrily as I slammed on the brakes on an empty road, causing Sage to jerk forward, her skinny arms automatically reaching out and hitting the dash to stop herself from flying through the front windshield.

"What the hell! ?" She yelled out frantically, her eyes widening as she looked around completely dazed. Then she started to giggle, then chuckle, then started to hysterically laugh. The girl was half retarded, I swear.

"Would you _please_ shut up." I said as I glared at her from the corner of my eyes. She just blinked in my direction and smiled cheekily. Bringing her hand up to her lips she pretended to zipper her mouth close, lock it, then throw away the key before sitting back in her seat and grinning in my direction as if to say there-I-did-it-can-you-just-shut-up-and-drive-now-bitch?-thanks. Overall, I wanted to slap her even more than I wanted to when she was talking.

The ride was silent for, oh…maybe 10 minutes? Before Sage decided to talk again.

Apparently, she found the key to open her goddamn mouth.

"Do you think the original color for bubble gum is pink or blue? Because I've heard that it's…both. Most people think pink, but I _personally_ would go with blue. What do you think?" My hands gripped the steering wheel as I casted an annoyed look over to her. She just smiled a bit as she tilted her head to the side.

I sighed defeated as I looked away. Why not humor her?

"I don't think bubble comes with a color. So…brown, or at least a light tan. Something unattractive before they dye it a color." Sage opened her mouth and smiled widely.

"You mean, like your hair?" I snapped my mouth shut as I blindly swung my hand in Sage's direction, my hand smacking her ear as she whined out her protests. "I was kidding, only kidding." She muttered as she rubbed her ear grumpily. Hey, at least it got her to shut up.

"I'm hungry…"

"Eat your fist," I grounded out, glaring at the road ahead of me.

"But I don't waaaaaant to," She whined out irritably, "I want to eat some food." I huffed as I glanced in her direction. And sure enough she was giving me her usual puppy dog eyes as she pouted.

"Ok, ok. I dropped a skittle on the floor a little while back, go in the back seat to see if it's still there." Sage blinked once before grinning widely and nearly pouncing in the backseat as she searched the floor.

"How long is a little while back?" She questioned curiously.

"Uhm…2 days ago?" Psh, not even close - more like 2 months.

"Cool! Found it!" I bit my lip as Sage jumped over to the front and returned to her seat, wiggling her butt comfortably as she observed the candy closely. "You sure it was two days? Cuz' this thing looks pretty retched." I squinted and looked at Sage as she smiled cluelessly, making her look like an even bigger brainless idiot.

Only she would describe something as _retched_.

"No, I'm sure it was 2 days - you know what? What color is that skittle, I dropped one before we left, it could only be a few hours old." Sage bit her bottom lip as she examined it closely.

"I don't know." She muttered, as she pouted - looking like she was about to cry at any second.

"What don't you know?"

"I don't know what color it is! It's all…mucky and…oh God!" She squealed out as she dropped the candy. "It's not a skittle!" She shrieked out, causing me to snicker at her face. "It's a bug! It was a fucking bug and I _licked_ it!" She continued to squeal as she slapped her hands over her face, her body twisting and turning as she squealed out, her body twitching in disgust as she closed her eyes. I looked over and grinned to see her fingers curling, her body huddling in a small ball as she tried to smack the bug away as it tried to crawl up the leather seat and towards her legs. "Go away." She trembled as she flicked the bug, only to flinch at the sound of it's shell hitting the plastic dash board.

Shuddering I gave her a disgusted look.

"You licked it?" Squealing again she only nodded, covering her face as she pressed herself up against the door, shivering in disgust as she scratched her tongue.

"…I- I just wanted to see what the skittle taste like." I smirked.

"Did the bug taste good?" Sage went quiet as she stared at me irritably.

"Kind of…up until I found out it was a fudgin' bug! Clean this shitty car once in awhile, why don't you?" I scoffed. How was I suppose to know she was going to be licking a freaking bug? …well, I guess if I did know that for future reference, I probably wouldn't have cleaned my car a month ago. Who knows? Maybe she would've ate the bug.

Heh. That'd be gross…

"What, are you laughing at." Sage glared at me as I smiled.

"What can I _not_ be laughing at? Just imagine if you actually ate that. You'd probably think the skittle had some gooey center or something." Sage dry hacked as she held her stomach, her face paling at the thought.

"Oh God, that's disgusting. Pull over, I think I might hurl." I shook my head.

"Nuhuh, we're not stopping. Just open the window and throw up, I'm not stopping the car just so you can empty your stomach. Either hold it in, or up chuck from the window and let that vomit fly with the wind!" Sage groaned as she tucked her head between her knees, rocking back and forth. "You know, Sage, don't you think you're overreacting a little bit? It's not like you ate it." Sage shook her head vigorously.

"No, I don't think I'm being over reactive. I _licked_ the bug! And you know what? I think I might've broken one of it's legs off with my tongue. My tongue! Can you believe it? I swallowed a bug leg. I don't know how the French can eat that stuff - and use tongue while kissing. It's like, sharing bug guts or something." I blinked as I scowled.

I had just gotten the worst mental image possible.

"I'm changing." She decided simply, once again tumbling over the front seat - almost kicking me in the face in the process - and landing with a thud in the back seat.

"Be careful, there are other drivers." She muttered something under her breath before she clicked open her suit case.

"I'm gonna put on a bra!" She shouted loudly.

"Thank you for telling me retard," I grumbled, "and why weren't you wearing a bra anyway? You have boobs you know."

"I know! I was wearing a bra…kind of. A tank top actually, with a _built in_ bra. My oh my those things are mighty handy." I rolled my eyes. _Idiot._

It had only been a few seconds before Sage was crying out for help from the back seat, "I can't get the shirt off! It's stuck on my hair bow!" I snorted. She was so mentally impaired.

"Tug like you mean it, the thing will come right off." Sage grumbled as she sat up in the backseat, I grinned mischievously as I swerved the car, causing Sage to cry out in shock as she unconsciously yanked the shirt off, leaving her top half completely bare in the back seat.

The sound of a horn going off next to us caused Sage to look over, I only laughed harder when I saw the car next to us full of large, hott, natives who were all staring at Sage wide eyed.

"You flashed them!" I shouted out hysterically as I looked back at Sage's dark red face.

"No I didn't!" She defended, her face still dark red from embarrassment.

"Yes you did, but look on the bright side - at least they were hott." Sage glared at me as she grumpily clipped on a bra and threw on her "Escape the Fate" band tee before wiggling into some paint splattered jean shorts and pulling on her knee length converse.

"Sure, sure." She muttered darkly.

The good thing out of this? She finally shut up.

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Author notes-

**Charlotte: **Now, I don't think I'm that great of an author - so next chapter, Sage's point of view! Beware: while reading, please wear a helmet. My writing just may give you brain damage - oh yes, it's that bad. Sorry!:P

**Emma: **What'cha think? It's short, I know that much. But I didn't think it was that bad. Review? Helps our self-esteem to create the second chapter;}

-MrsEmmaClearwater-  
**~C**h**a**r**l**o**t**t**e**


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